I am currently in class and am paying 0 attention to the material. I am in my woman in social movements class which is an incredible class but i cannot focus for the life of me. the class ends in like 8 minutes. i want to try a new restaurant today but i dont want to eat there and i dont want to call to order. maybe ill go another day but with my sister so we can try unagi and then another day we can try their beef udon! Class ended and i thought about trying the beef udon but i had forgotten my wallet at home :0. Its okay though because i got home and my mom said she wanted chinese food. so we ordered the food and ate at home. it was delicious but my stomach hurt for a bit because i had eaten too much.
I am supposed to be in class right now but instead i am sitting on a comfy chair, waiting for my next class to start. I really don't feel like being in class today, but i don't know why! i woke up at 6:30 in the morning to take my cousin to school. then i went back home and realized i locked myself out of the house and had to climb in through my sisters window. thankfully she hadnt locked it! i then went back into bed for like half an hour before getting ready for school. Lmao i got to school a bit late but could've still made it to class but i really wanted a Rise and Roll donut. so guess what i did? I went to Rise and Roll to buy donuts XD they were so good. im so glad i skipped my first class to get donuts right now im just waiting for my last class to start so im either going to work on some homework or look up tutorials on how to amp up this blog :p
I am doing everything but getting ready for a birthday party I said I would attend. I decided to make plans when i was in a good mood and it came to bite me back in the ass. like bruh. you were talking to yesterday's me not me right now. I really dont feel like going but i cant just cancel on someones birthday party. like thats fucked up man. if that happened to me i would probably cry. i dont know. im going to shower and get ready then ill go buy a gift card and make my way to the party. On another note- I need to learn how to change the favicon to this page. or at least thats what i think its called. i want to switch it to a lizard. i feel like that would be so cute!
I started my period today and i feel all over the place. It has felt hectic all day and I feel very confused. There is just this feeling that I am forgetting something extremely important but I can't figure out what that might be? I thought a list might help so instead of making the list I chose to write here. lol. maybe this is better.
Honestly this helped alot. I actually have a bit of motivation now.
yesterday was my day off and i really thought i was going to accomplish everything on my to-do list but i think i only got about three things done. after class I went to the library bc i lost my library card like a week ago. i walked in and everyone was so nice. the guy at the desk had an actual movie smile that i couldnt stop staring at his teeth. he directed me to the center desk and another nice man helped me there. he asked for my id and said i would pay $1 if the card was not expired (i had no idea they could expire) turns out my card had been expired since november lol. so he gave me my card for free XD and told me to connect my previous account with my new account, so i could keep using their online services. after that i walked around and a book stuck to my hand along with 2 dvd's. so excited to watch them! after that i went to a bookstore nearby that is closing down :( RIP. but they were having a sale and all their books were $2!!!!!! i looked around but i only ended up getting 4 books. 1 book in spanish for my cousin, 2 books, and 1 sewing picture book! also very excited to read those! after that i went home and knocked out. it was probably 6 something when i fell asleep. i woke up at 2am and went straight back to sleep and woke up again at 8am to go to school. honestly 10/10 day.
my first class was cancelled today and the weather was bad so I decided not to go to school. I had three classes today but I didn't go to any of them and am praying the assignments get posted to canvas. If not I will have to email the professors again :/ either way today so far has been pretty good. I went with my sister to pick up her kids, went home, my sister made some food, we drank, I put my clothes away, I got ready, I helped my sister clean (just a little bit), I ate some more, and now I am at work. I still need to complete my school assignments for today but so far so good. I will be learning the material I missed in class today, then I will take a quiz, then I will finish up some homework and a project, then I can relax (maybe I will work on this page a bit). Once I finish everything, I want to take some time to myself to do some things I have been putting off. I would like to complete a new puzzle I was gifted, I would like to finish watching a movie I borrowed from the library, finish reading a book from the library, learn/or choreograph a heels dance, and maybe setup a youtube study account! I don't know but lately I have been feeling better about how I am living my life. For awhile I felt like I wasn't doing enough, or I was being lazy and not planning for the future, but then I thought about it and felt like I was just missing out on my current life. I wasn't really enjoying anything I was doing. I wasn't thinking about the future in an efficient way. I was just kind of paralysed in an anxious state. I decided to stop worrying so much and just enjoy the simple life I have right now. It has been pretty effective. I love seeing my room clean. I love walking into my closet and picking out cute outfits. I love learning new things in school. I love being able to experiment with this website, having access to so much free information, choosing what I eat, getting ready in the morning, showering, sleeping in such a cozy bed, hanging out with friends, going to random events on weekdays, or on weekends, spending the weekend in a city, going somewhere new whenever I want, trying new food, talking to new people, just everything really
LMAO right after I typed that, I got swarmed with customers LMAOOOO. I was alone and people kept coming in :0. I freaked out for a second but im okay now. This guy came in because he made a payment and his phone still didn't work, i had to call customer service and it took quite awhile, his phone still isn't working so I get that he's mad and frustrated but he didn't really need to take it out on me. like come on bro, I wasn't even here when you made your payment. He came in y me reclamo que porque no le hice el pago and I looked at him like wtf are you talking about? i just got here? and he acted like it was my fault. like bro be so fr rn. Idk i helped him and he had an attitude but what else could i do. rip he's probably going to come back before we close the store lol.
i just finished my hwk for my cs class and it wasn't as much as i had expected. now that i am done with that i would like to learn more about partial page updates! I am completely new to all of this and am quite literally just looking at open sources and reading through them, then looking at definitions. I don't even know which language is which. I'm pretty sure I am mixing different things rn lol if that's even possible. i feel like a newborn baby with undeveloped flesh. so whenever i touch anything my skin is so sensitive that i just feel completely overwhelmed. still, this is so fun. but maybe i should watch youtube videos instead of just random definition's and examples.
I am at work and am supposed to be doing my homework but i just can't get in the groove. instead i have been brainstoriming bday ideas. i dont usually do much so i wanted to do something i would enjoy this year! ive been wanting to go lay in the beach sand for awhile so i think im going to do that in the morning, and then i know i want to play games so i will probably do that too! my plan as of right now is to wake up and go to church. next up would be to go to the beach, maybe take a nap. next maybe eat something new, hopefully try a new food! and then spend the day learning how to play games. i want to learn how to play minecraft and shooting games. i think a small hang out would be fun. i don't really want to invite people over to my parents house though. i would like to hang out with my friends but i just don't want to have a 'party' at the house, idk it just feels weird. i do want my cousins over though! i already asked 3 of them and they said yes so yayy! but maybe we should go somewhere and do something fun? i dont know yet tbh. i know im not going to be in the best mood just because some sad feelings are bound to come up. i still want to do something fun that wont be too taxing. so my plans of now are...
lmaooooo this cute guy just came in and he said i was cute jejejejejejeje
lmaoooooooooo rip to me
hello world,
yesterday was omg idek. i was working like usual and i got swamped! nothing out of the ordinary honestly but this time i knew someone in the room. that's bad enough, but to top it off can you guess who it was?? omfg. aaaaghhghghghghghdsfghfjgaljdigah o[t4g9u, it was my middle school crush.kgjse tvhwtjhdjkfhg4u5hugutnhuugtiusth[utrgutughuaehguahtghrguhnug nau9rgb9[urgh. yeah... i had to help him and i wanted to kill myself. worse, i forgot he had a dimple :(. like bro u walk in here and im shocked bc i havent seen you in forever, and then you look me in the eye and smile??? stfuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu. do you hate me? do you want me to slap you? why are you still cute?? yeah i want to gauge my eyes out and throw them in a lake, maybe then they'll be cleansed and i can look at the world with love again. but rip to me, now i won't stop thinking about that damn dimple for awhile. the smile just keeps replaying in my head. help me. please.
My teacher just showed us a picture of Emmett Till. And oh how many laws were set in place to restrict black people and other people of color.
i'm watching a movie in class right now and my stomach keeps growling, loudly. the movie so far is pretty cool, it's about Japanese soldiers that got mistaken for the defeated side and they're trying to run away.
im not really paying attention, im just thinking about getting home and eating. omg but yesterday my cousins came over and brought me a birthday gift which was so nice of them. 3) they wrapped it up and everything! it was in a cheetah print box with a baby pink ribbon tied in a bow! And the gift was so thoughful too i cried when they showed me it (it didn't arrive on time so they showed me a picture on my actual bday lol) i had previously told them that i was collecting cd's and so upgraded my cd player. like broooooo you guys are so thoughful omgg. im going to cry again. but for their birthday im going to get one of them some film for their camera, patters they can use to make cute clothes, maybe some polk-a-dot fabric, and maybe a digital camera. for my other cousin i think im going to get him a vinyl record cleaner kit, some vinyls, pokemon cards, maybe a cool card album, or maybe some legos.
but today is my friends birthday, shes turning i believe 21 or 22, im not sure. but she is someone that has opened up new doors or me, pushed me to improve, and shown me how far hard work and dedication can take you. She has become someone i respect and look up to, like a mentor of sorts. idk i love her sm, we need to hang out soon. i want to go out to eat but i don't know where yet. so we'll figure that out later
also it's finals week and i feel pretty good, i just have 2 exams. they're tomorrow so i am going to review the material today, as well as rewrite my notes bc, god bless, they are both open note.
another side note, i have been watching slushynoobs lately, and i feel like im starting to pronounce sorry as 'saw-rr-y'
yesterday I was supposed to meet up with my friend so we could practice the urbanite routine. Something happened and i wasn't able to make it. so i am scared for urbanite. actually terrified because i have not danced on stage in gosh knows how long. but at the same time I am so excited! I can't wait to dance in front of a crowd! call it egotistical but I love putting on a show and getting people's attention. so I have to drill it to keep it in my head. i also need to clean it up, omg i really need to clean it up. but im not worried because we are all going to be phenomenol. I am also excited to mingle with the other girls in the group! I only know that they dance so I am excited to meet them! it is also going to be my first urbanite so I am beyond excited. there is going to be classes we can take! parties to attend! and new people to meet! im so excited because everyone there obviously likes dance, so there will be some common ground. idk im just so excited!
I am at work and I really need to pee. I am watching Welcome to Samdal-ri and it's an easy watch. I havent really been paying attention to it but I can still follow along and understand the plot, so it's a good casual watch. Also I feel like my typing has gotten slower. I wasn't that fast to begin with, but I feel like a rusty robot trying to type.
also i have not been doing any of my homework, and i only went to about three classes this week. yikes. i need some sort of motivation. lmao instead of going to class I stayed home and made a pencil pouch because my nephew ripped my last one. It was perfect too because it was clear and perfectly held what i needed. It was small and cute, I loved it. RIP. This was my first time making a pouch so I was a little scared but not really because I was using material I got for cheap, thank goodness. either way it does the job and it's compact and cute. 10/10, although I wish I would have gotten the fabric I wanted instead of the cheap one. It was a hot pink fabric with vibrant bananas all over it, the only problem was that the minimum length i needed to buy was 2 yards. what do i need 2 yards of banana fabric for?? Lmao maybe I should have gotten it?
--> things i would like to do soon
I am currently obsessed with an apple shaped monitor. It is sooooo cute, it makes me want to gauge my eyes out.
I don't know where to find cute monitors?? It makes me so sad because I would like a monitor but I don't want to just put a black screen in my room. I literally took my tv out of the room because it looked ugly. And it would look uglier just sitting on my desk. I need something fun and cute or I will go insane, I will feel restricted and like a fraud. It's just now who I am.
im currently in my Japanese Culture class and there's this obnoxious guy in here who will not shut up. He's acting like a know it all and his voice is annoying on top of that. boy shut the fuck up.
i have been putting all my work to the side and solely been focusing on bed rotting. even now i am avoiding my homework. rip. its almost urbanite time and honestly im feeling kind of disheartened. i thought i was going to go with my friend since we talked about it but idk what happened or if i misunderstood but we wont be going together and idk if we'll be coming back home together either. Its fine because i know how to get around but it felt like i was being put to the side. im still super excited to go but i dont know if i am going to feel as connected as i hoped. especially since everyone else is friendly and more easygoing than me. its not like im awkward on purpose but i dont know how to fix it. when im having a good time and respond in ways i naturally would, often i get weird responses or reactions and so i retreat and feel dejected the rest of the time. i just feel like thats going to happen again this time. and more so because im kind of the odd one out. they're all hungry and devoted to dance, while im focusing on other things and only ever dancing when im invited someplace really. i dont know. im just thinking too much about it, but i also think im going to start my period so thats probably why i feel this way. i honestly just want to have a lot of fun, make a lot of good memories, and not feel left out.
Let's have a lot of fun! And let's do our best!
hello, urbanite is officially over. so this will be a quick debreif. for starters i got here on thursday, i went to school and ran some errands, then i got on a train and made it to my destination. mind you kjkj and i had a conversation about going together and coming back together, so getting a ride to the airport was last mn and annoying, also once i was in chicago i had to go straight to rehearsal which is completely fine except its a fucking hour away from where the train dropped me off. like how tf am i going to get there with my luggage and your not going to help me figure it out? you helped everyone else that was traveling except me, wtf. so i had to get a fucking 40 smth dollar uber to get to the rehearsals. like wtf bro. also i had asked before the weekend started if i could ride back with skdjfk and they said yes, but now why tf am i looking for trains back home. like whats up with this lacl of communication. i get it but this really just felt like a slap to the face. how are you going to say someoething and thoruoghlt talk about it, then change it up before it happens?? idk but that pissed me off. im just irritated, very irritated to say the least.